New report reveals the world is risky and not your living room, government orders citizens not to leave living rooms.
A senior official commented, “yes, that fall down the stairs might not kill you, but what about the potentially permanent damage to your back, your neck; what about paralysis?”
When asked what percentage of people fall down stairs, the official replied, “if we are talking about numbers, yeah, if you are elderly there’s a higher chance of a fall, but younger people fall too, and even one preventable fall is too many”
He then proceeded to list all of the imaginable harm that could potentially befall people outside, and that speech is ongoing