If you ever get into a discussion with a kafir, you must begin with the understanding that they are lying. They are inevitably lying to you, because, they are already lying to themselvves. It is, therefore, not upon you to respond to their lies as if they are true, rather, it is upon you to expose the lie. That is the beginning of da’awah.
For example; terrorism. The West is like a murderer who is covered in the blood of his victims and then screams “I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding!” It is not upon the victim to prove to his attacker that he is peaceful and wants to co-exist. Do not allow them to deflect blame for their crimes by accusing others. Do not let them frame the discussion and set the parameters of the debate, because it is a lie designed to cover a lie.
Whenever they want to talk about us, it is because they want to avoid being talked about themselves. They want to accuse us because the accuser always enjoys an appearance of innocence, and this becomes extremely important when you are as horrifically guilty as they are.