Dear Baristas,
It is Saturday evening, your café is busy. When you make my coffee slowly, and I mean, so slow that I could literally fly back to the US, get a coffee from the airport Starbucks, and fly back before you finish; that one available table next to the electrical outlet will be taken. That means I will have to sit at another table, work on my laptop without plugging it in, which also means I cannot simultaneously charge my phone; and continuously look around, like an edgy meerkat scanning the Kalahari Desert, waiting for anyone to vacate a more desirable table. When someone DOES move, I will have to pack up my things and move as quickly as possible, like a homeless person being kicked off a bus, to snatch that table before the inevitable group of what I refer to as “other people” swoop down to park themselves there. My personal irritation will be in continuous escalation throughout this entire process, and I think we can both agree that people do not go to cafes in pursuit of aggravation; one might argue, in fact, that people go to cafes with the exact opposite intention.
Thank you for listening.